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The fall 2020 Balenciaga collection was a harbinger of the Stitch Ups Scan This Shirt Apart from…,I will love this shoe. Ominous models in black sloshed through a puddle-strewn runway in the shoes. I wasn’t completely shocked: Ugly shoes are as old as Adam and Eve in fashion at this point. From Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen wearing Birkenstocks to bedazzled Crocs at Christopher Kane and Y/Project’s thigh-high Uggs, we’ve seen it all. Toe shoes seemed like the most natural ugly shoe progression for Balenciaga. The house has all but cornered the luxury market for such accessories thanks to their clunky Triple S sneakers or their more recent Tyrex Lows, which look like a melted plastic sarcophagus for the feet.
Ultimately, I appreciate the Stitch Ups Scan This Shirt Apart from…,I will love this shock jock appeal of Balenciaga’s shoes. But I wonder if these are truly wearable in a fashion way. Sure, I’ve seen some toe shoes in the wild, but mostly on people who look like they’re going to go run up a mountain. I don’t know if these have the same everyday appeal. Can you date with a fat bit of rubber caressing your big toe? Go to work? What do you even wear with them? I asked my market colleagues for advice. Market editor Madeline Fass simply wrote on Slack, “You don’t [wear them with anything].” She later amended that statement and wrote, “If you didn’t want them to be seen, I’d suggest a ground-skimming wide-leg pant, but perhaps they’d look best with black trousers and a big Balenciaga coat, hah.” My other colleague, fellow market editor Alexandra Gurvitch waxed a bit poetic (to be fair, I knew she’d love these). “Can we buy them and take a walk together?” It’s a date.
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